tired...legs cramped...

hm...went working for 2 afternoons...haha giving flyers at suntec...wow..tiring job haha..but i guessed i slack quite alot huh...considering tat i gave quite a huge stack to my frens who happened to walk past me haha...hm...but still hor i did my part huh...i did give out the last 2000 fatefully! hehe... this L hor...bio girls while giving flyers la...so obvious! haha... dun fake fake k ...i saw u bioing lor haha:) hey have a great time in ur reservist! haha...

hm...saw him...i m glad tat i feel nth liao...really nth liao... i guessed i have passed tat stage of life le...great! history will nv repeat...but e lesson tat i have learnt during this period will always be at the back of my mind...

i m so glad tat this holiday now... i haven been myself ever since sem 2 started... having been pressurzied by all the archit stuffs n matters, i couldnt even breathe... now i can concentrate fully on csc n on improving myself.... realised i have been a mountain tortoise for quite long..haha...need to read up more...listen to more songs...update myself on current stuffs too! haha

sorrow n more sorrows...

changed the blog template..changed the address too...have been changing coz no choice... forced to change...

just came back fr sch...supposed to have archit camp meeting but then only me n lingfong were there...so in the end, i collect the portfoilo n came home...some of them dun have to collect coz theirs are needed for RE-BAR exhibition..RE-BAR is some Brisitsh architects comin over to singapore to view our work... n i m not selected again...carried my heavy portfoilo to n fro like an idiot...put in all my work but nth was appreciated..i felt dumb super dumb...saw Erwin jus now, greeted him but he dun even care...confirmed he is a gay..talked to junxian only...see? the world is evil...guys turned into gays, n showed favourtism so obviously...wat is the world changing into? i dun understand...

i feel sad...n down...whenever i came past the studio, i feel depressed...all my hard work put in this past yr was redundant n useless...i feel lousy n lousier each time i walked past the studio...supposed to be a happy place for me...but i guessed it now turns out to be the saddest place that i would have... every time when i think abt this, i wanna cry...but i cant...no place for me to even cry out loud...not at home...not anywhere else ...the only place is in my heart...i will go mad soon...

ystd went sentosa for game trial..no clare, no kh...rh busy reading newspaper n doing his logistic stuffs, so i was all alone...though wan nee was there, she also has her own clique... i dun mind being alone with csc members coz they are all friendly n nice pple...only with them i can be happy n feel that i m myself...

the day before ystd...
wanted to blog but angry with someone...

went interview with rotijohn then after tat he brought me to see his so-called shuai ge fren... then went to meet up cand n jer n ping for dinner then after that ktv...thoughout the whole outing, i already tried v hard to strive a conversation v him but then still cannot continue a long conversation...he more enthu in talkin to cand abt the trip coz more things to talk abt n also it happened v recently only...after the whole day i feel so tired....not becoz of the walkin or anything but becoz of the tryin to talk to him...tired n empty heart...

is a long blog coz these fews days i havent been blogging...also too tired n sad to blog...
well, hope clare can come back soon...so tat i can go csc with her...

where is me?

i m abit lost now...

went silso beach with womba frens, havent been seeing them since long..haha..everything changed...from appearance to status wise...most of them are attached...others remained the same... as for me n jer... we belong to the remained the same grp...
feel happy for those who have found their ones...but dun lose urself in a relationship, dun be frickly minded n unstable... dun mistrust ur loved one...n dun take advantage...

i played vb, captain's ball, monkey by the beach...is was great fun...get to sweat alot..good coz can slim down....but at the expense of getting tired n blue black everywhere... i played with zero stress...great! i was myself today... i dun care abt image...i m who i m ....:)

came online...tok to cand n rotijohn...roti john came to talk to me first...he was shocked to realised the qiaoness... kept askin me y y y ...

well... he talks more to me than in the past...more causally too...
great i tot....unless we are still quite good frens...:)
saw his photos...haha v cute n funny..didnt he can play play too...
but y is it tat he always seem so stern when with us?...maybe he isnt v close to us yet...
slowly ba...

the feeling of recallin the past is saddening.... but nth can stop it i guess...

me myself n i...

finally exams over...then came portfoilo submission...i hate it! i really dun like this submission thingy... is adding stress to me... but nvm...i m fine now...

finally studies are over... i dun have to give myself stress for the time being till 2nd june i guess...
now i just wanna do my part as the organising committee in csc foc n also in the trials to come...
i want to do my v best in this camp...coz it needs everyone cooperation n responsiblities to make this camp a great success n i hope i can help contribute it too! coz last yr camp was great n wonderful! it was the best camp! n i make true friends there...

now i m free...feel great after being trapped into archit for a full whole semster...
i couldnt breathe then ..but now i can smell the sweet scent of flowers...
i couldnt stop thinking abt design then..but now i can even think of programmes for the camp
i couldnt help making myself feel stressed abt archit then...but now i cbb it coz i know for as long as i m in archit i will still hold on to my principles...

met new pple in the chalet... played games thru the nights...
had fun at the trial ystd...glad that my programmes went smoothly...
i had packed my room... much neater now...

everything went so smoothly...though i m abit tired after everyday's event, i still feel happy n free... i m not longer trapped in the world...the world where i have to think alot...abt studies..abt frens n abt relationships... now i m a bird that can fly freely in the air...a fish that can swim freely in the water...

to frens who are still trapped in the love life... give urself some time to play wild..i mean enjoy doing things that u like n occupy urself for the day...coz this way will make ur day passes by faster...n u will not think abt that party tat often ya:) jia you! get to know more pple such tat ur mind is drawn away with some other pple's stuffs too:).... dun get me wrong..i didnt do it this way...but the first one worked well for me!

i was shocked last night when i got online...coz dunno how cum got 2 pple added me into their msn suddenly... then after intro then i realised they were the camp counciliors of some other grps... well, hm... i may be friendly but ya i m not those who likes pple easily... so i hope i dun give them the wrong idea rite fr the start ya... i have had enough troubles with guys le...so pls pls dun let history repeats...i will drown myself with my own tears if it happens again...

to a fren whom i have not been replying...sorry ya..(i know he wouldnt get to read this but...need to let out somewhere) i dunno wat to say to u but i m v frightened by u...so i have no choice but to do this to u... this will do u good in the long run ya...pls forgive me ...n do believe me tat u have found the wrong girl...i m not good for u....dun waste ur time on me... sorry sorry...

me standing on a moddy log !! 

having dinner at redang 

3 chio gals! 

feeling myself...

hey i m back... so so tired after the trip...cant even rest today...went to sch to clean up the room n attended a long councilior briefing... wow..super tired n sick... but the day was fruitfully spent ya:)

went to redang from sat night till tue night...
wow shiok! went snorkelling for 3 times!!
havent been so close to the ocean water before...
this time round i really feel that i m with the marine life...

i swam with fishes...had fun fanning the clams...observed the corals...
discovered the depth of the ocean n the marine life under the cliff
learnt the different colours of the ocean surface and how salty is the South China Sea
fed fishes with bread n watched them snatched among themselves so near to my skin...
had my first kayaking ... enjoyed the beach volleyball ...tanned myself more...

well...all in all..is fun n relaxing!
away with all the city noise n worries n troubles...
have fun together with my archit frens...
never have i really relax myself ever since i enter uni...
had been so troubled with studies frens relationships n more...
had drained myself for the past one year...is time for me to rejuvenate myself to the max!

THE place in my heart....

it has been so long since i lasted chatted with u...
i was waiting for ur sms..but to my surprise u called...
the familiar house number....the familiar voice...
i admit i sort of miss your voices...

initially was just to ask u abt some impt stuffs...
but u couldnt help much so we chatted along...

abt the friends we knew, their pasts n presents stage of life...
their the other halfs...n their future walk of life...
ur gf , ur results, ur volin ur singing...
ur hainanese, ur grandma, ur army-soon-to-be life...
my life, my exam n my csc...
ur ambitions n aims...
my goals n future prospects
ur eagerness to enjoy life now
my anxiousness to lose weight now...

we chatted abt everything n anything...
just one thing, we didnt chat abt my current status
great i tot...
u requested me to teach u more hainanese sentences, i was touched...
past memories flew by...
but i dare not give it any thoughts...
i let it pass by quickly...

is so sweet tat u rem the stuffs we did before...
is even sweeter when u can rem wat i said to u before...
my heart melts...

ur voice seems so near for a moment...
i tot i could hear u breathe...

i guess u never realised this sudden chat took a full 2 hours...
u wished me a good nights at the end..i wanted to but i dunno how to put across...

all the best to u...may u be happy n fine in ur army days...
wishing u all the best with her...

farewell fren...my forever fren...:)